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The Hangover: Timber’s Lore

*This podcast is done as a shout out to The Lore Podcast. If you like the format and production, you should check out that podcast. I step out onto the cold hard pitch and watch my nervous breath create ringlets in the air. How did I get here? Where am I? Before this game I’d…


Glass Half Full

It was Portland Timbers 3, FC Dallas 1 in the first leg of the West Final on Sunday night. There was another fantastic tifo, a Ridgy Roll, and a golazo from Dairon Asprilla. There was a lot of Darlington Nagbe, a farewell for Will Johnson, and, thanks to a lonesome away goal, a sliver of…


Keep Timbers Weird

GAME SUMMARY Just business. Diego Valeri’s Hips are big fat liars and Adi is a soaring eagle symbolizing the American freedom that doesn’t really exist. Why it’s so great when Chara scores: GOAT-SCAPEGOAT Burns Better: Seattle or Vancouver Link   Seattle: First Leg: (away) Jack cross into Ryan Johnson for a flick on header. Nagbe’s…


Living in the Best of all Possible Universes

Unedited Show Notes ARTICLE OF THE WEEK The Axe- madness GAME SUMMARY Holy Fuck. GOAT-SCAPEGOAT GOAT: Jose: Dan: Cody: Roscoe: AK/ Nagbe Scapegoat: Jose: Dan: Cody: Roscoe: Melano http://media.blubrry.com/portlandtimbros/p/www.theportlandtimbros.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/wtf.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS


The Hangover: A Perfect Day in the Fortunate Life

The morning showered, wiping the away the muck and the mire so midday could feel fresh with new possibilities. Piece is submitted, so it’s time to call my ass an UBER. I’ve got somewhere to be. The ride is quiet after I politely rebuff my driver’s attempt at conversation. She’s got two kids and enjoys…


The Hangover: Something Left to Prove

Success is new for the 2015 Portland Timbers.  As much as one might want to put pants on the underwear party, I’m not here to give you an argument for reasonable expectations in service to your self preservation. We won the final three games of the season to catapult us into the postseason, our resolve…


Godbe Says Let There Be Goals

ARTICLE OF THE WEEK GOAT-Scapegoat by Daniel Hollett GAME SUMMARY Something is in the water and Nagbe’s thirsty.   GOAT-SCAPEGOAT   GOAT: Jose: Nagbe Dan: Nagbe Cody: Nagbe Roscoe: Nagbe   Scapegoat: Jose: MLS Dan: Ridgey Cody: Ridgey Roscoe: NO people   POWER RANKINGS   Players to talk about:   Nagbe Villafana   *() =…


G.O.A.T.-Scapegoat: Godbe Answers Our Prayers

Dan: The Mythical Darlington Nagbe Header I will tell my future children of a day when the mercurial midfielder unleashed a ferocious whiplash-inducing screamer from the top of the dome, and they will call me crazy senile old-timer. I will be like Randy Quaid in Independence Day sounding the alarm bells of a future alien…


Player Power Rankings

*() = previous week rank Top Tweet Top Tweet  Top Tweet  Top Tweet Top Tweet   TOP TWEET Top Tweet  Top Tweet Top Tweet  Top Tweet  Top Tweet Top Tweet Top Tweet    Top Tweet Top Tweet Top Tweet Top Tweet  Top Tweet   Top Tweet Top Tweet Top Tweet


Wisdom is fickle. Chance is God’s Retort.

ARTICLE OF THE WEEK “Thus, 25 minutes of outstanding soccer is often what sets the line between success and failure in an MLS season.” – Chris Rifer= The Arbitrariness of Success @ Stumptown Footy GAME SUMMARY Greatest two single individual performance in Timbers history?   Diego Valeri will miss the Colorado game.   GOAT-SCAPEGOAT GOAT:…

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